hope tommorow is better

posted 4 hours ago @ 21 Apr 2014 with 1 note
xtumblr from bed

officialfrenchtoast:

when you’re lying and ur bestfriend backs u up

image

reblogged 4 hours ago @ 21 Apr 2014 with 21,219 notes via/source
datiekavis:

recipesforweebs:

Ah, Ramen. The instant stuff weeaboos and college kids eat almost 3 times a day. What a treasure. You know what I’m gonna teach you what to make? Ramen that isn’t instant, and doesn’t taste like you poured an entire fucking salt shaker into your fucking bowl. God damn…MSG, amirite?
Anyway, this recipes like pretty fucking delish, so we’re gonna have a pretty rad time making it, okay?O FUCKING KAY.~Ponyo-style Ramen(servings: 1 bowl)adapted from: x
Ingredients for Home made noodles-
3/4 cups all purpose flour
1 egg
3/4 tsp salt (plus more to taste)
~1 Tbsp water (or more give or take)
Ingredients for soup-
2 cups pork or vegetable broth*
1 Tbsp fresh miso paste
1 tsp soy sauce (add more if you want it to be saltier)
1/4 tsp dashi granules
1/4 cup fresh bean sprouts
Ingredients for toppings-
1/2 scallion stalk
1 egg, hard boiled
1 piece of thick cut ham sliced in half
1 Tbsp olive oil
~Procedure for noodles-
Mix all of the dry ingredients together and make a small ‘well’ in the center of the mixture.
Mix all of the wet ingredients together and pour the mixture into the center ‘well’ of the dry ingredients.
Slowly combine the ingredients together until it becomes a hard dough.
Knead that dough hardcore motherfucker. Knead it the same way you need every little bit of merch with your waifu’s face on it. Yeah I know i said ‘need’ instead of ‘knead’. Fight me. I dare you.
Roll it into a ball and test the consistency. If it’s WAY too stick, add some flour, if it’s really hard and not sticky at all, add a TEENY bit of water. The dough should only be a tiny bit sticky, like not enough to stick anyway, u feel me
Once the doughs at the right consistency, wrap the dough ball in a dish towel and let that shit rest for like an hour. You rocked it’s work, tiger, and now it just needs to recharge a little. Am I implying you had sexual relations with a noodle? Yes. sort of. It’s been a long day.
Take the dough ball once it’s rested and sprinkle flour over that shit. Make it rain, holla. place it on a flour’d counter and use a rolling pin to flatten it out. Like real talk. Flatter than even the traps you gawk at whenever they show up on a thread in /a/. Don’t lie to yourself, everyone loves the traps. 
If the dough starts sticking during the rolling process, slap some more flour on that shit.
Put the dough sheet on your cutting board and spread a bunch of flour over it. Real talk, get reaaaaaal liberal about your flour use here. You DO NOT want your noodles sticking together once we cut them.
Fold the sheet two times in the same direction, spreading flour over the sheet each time you fold it.
Once it’s folded, start cutting it into thin noodles. If you think it’s going to start stick, add some more flour onto that biz.
Once you’re done cutting them and you have a huge ass pile of noodles, toy at them a little with your fingers to unfold and separate them a bit. Then toss that shit around with some more flour.
Get some water bowling, enough to cover all the noodles, and just sort of sprinkle the noodles in. If you plop em all in they’ll stick and shit, so don’t do that. 
Cook for abot 4 minutes, tasting a noodle occasionally to see if they’re done. I like undercooking mine a tiny bit so they fully cook in the soup.
Once they’re done cooking, strain them and place them in the bowl you’re gonna eat from. 
And bam. You finished the noodles. Are you proud of yourself? Do you want a hug? Fuck off, we’re not done yet ho we still got a WORLD of shit to finish before you can eat this mystical creation based off of Miyazaki’s food porn masterpiece.
Procedure for Soup-
In a medium sized pot, add the stock, dashi, and soy sauce. Bring it to a boil over high heat.
Remove from heat and stir in the miso. If you want to add more miso or something, fuckin go for it, it’s your life.
Add the bean sprouts in now so they warm up a little. Pour the soup into the bowl of noodles and stir it around so the bean sprouts and noodles are all intertwined.
Oh hot damn. You finished dat soup. Wow. how cool are you? Not that cool yet, because you still need to do the last few toppings you lil shitbaby.
Procedure for toppings-
Pour enough water to cover an egg into a small pot and bring to a boil. Once boiling, place the egg in gently and let it stay there for like 10 minutes.
Once the egg’s cooked for about 10 minutes, take that shit out and place it in a small bowl of ice water so it can cool down.
Once it’s cooled, remove the shell and cut it in half vertically. Place one of the halves on top of the ramen and eat the other one yourself with a sprinkle of salt because you deserve it. Love yourself a little.
Get some thick cut ham slices, like the thickest you can find, get a piece and cut it in half. Drizzle a frying pan with olive oil and let it heat up before placing the ham slices on there. 
Cook until heated up but not browned and place atop the noodles.
Thinly dice half the chive stock and place it atop the noodles as well.
~HOLY SHIT YOU JUST MADE YOURSELF SOME MIYAZAKI NOODLESARE YOU PROUD? YOU SHOULD BE. YOU BASICALLY MADE ART.No seriously, put that shit in MOMA and it will probably sell a lot quicker than like, fuckin, idk, cubism or whatever. Because Ramen always tastes better than oil paint, trust me.
Alright nerds, that’s Ponyo’s Ramen for you, enjoy eating literally 10 bowls of it while crying over fucking fish people you sad piece of trash.LOVE YOU, BYE

"you lil shitbaby"

datiekavis:

recipesforweebs:

Ah, Ramen. The instant stuff weeaboos and college kids eat almost 3 times a day. What a treasure. 

You know what I’m gonna teach you what to make? Ramen that isn’t instant, and doesn’t taste like you poured an entire fucking salt shaker into your fucking bowl. God damn…MSG, amirite?

Anyway, this recipes like pretty fucking delish, so we’re gonna have a pretty rad time making it, okay?

O FUCKING KAY.

~

Ponyo-style Ramen
(servings: 1 bowl)
adapted from: x

Ingredients for Home made noodles-

  • 3/4 cups all purpose flour
  • 1 egg
  • 3/4 tsp salt (plus more to taste)
  • ~1 Tbsp water (or more give or take)

Ingredients for soup-

  • 2 cups pork or vegetable broth*
  • 1 Tbsp fresh miso paste
  • 1 tsp soy sauce (add more if you want it to be saltier)
  • 1/4 tsp dashi granules
  • 1/4 cup fresh bean sprouts

Ingredients for toppings-

  • 1/2 scallion stalk
  • 1 egg, hard boiled
  • 1 piece of thick cut ham sliced in half
  • 1 Tbsp olive oil

~

Procedure for noodles-

  • Mix all of the dry ingredients together and make a small ‘well’ in the center of the mixture.
  • Mix all of the wet ingredients together and pour the mixture into the center ‘well’ of the dry ingredients.
  • Slowly combine the ingredients together until it becomes a hard dough.
  • Knead that dough hardcore motherfucker. Knead it the same way you need every little bit of merch with your waifu’s face on it. Yeah I know i said ‘need’ instead of ‘knead’. Fight me. I dare you.
  • Roll it into a ball and test the consistency. If it’s WAY too stick, add some flour, if it’s really hard and not sticky at all, add a TEENY bit of water. The dough should only be a tiny bit sticky, like not enough to stick anyway, u feel me
  • Once the doughs at the right consistency, wrap the dough ball in a dish towel and let that shit rest for like an hour. You rocked it’s work, tiger, and now it just needs to recharge a little. Am I implying you had sexual relations with a noodle? Yes. sort of. It’s been a long day.
  • Take the dough ball once it’s rested and sprinkle flour over that shit. Make it rain, holla. place it on a flour’d counter and use a rolling pin to flatten it out. Like real talk. Flatter than even the traps you gawk at whenever they show up on a thread in /a/. Don’t lie to yourself, everyone loves the traps. 
  • If the dough starts sticking during the rolling process, slap some more flour on that shit.
  • Put the dough sheet on your cutting board and spread a bunch of flour over it. Real talk, get reaaaaaal liberal about your flour use here. You DO NOT want your noodles sticking together once we cut them.
  • Fold the sheet two times in the same direction, spreading flour over the sheet each time you fold it.
  • Once it’s folded, start cutting it into thin noodles. If you think it’s going to start stick, add some more flour onto that biz.
  • Once you’re done cutting them and you have a huge ass pile of noodles, toy at them a little with your fingers to unfold and separate them a bit. Then toss that shit around with some more flour.
  • Get some water bowling, enough to cover all the noodles, and just sort of sprinkle the noodles in. If you plop em all in they’ll stick and shit, so don’t do that. 
  • Cook for abot 4 minutes, tasting a noodle occasionally to see if they’re done. I like undercooking mine a tiny bit so they fully cook in the soup.
  • Once they’re done cooking, strain them and place them in the bowl you’re gonna eat from. 
  • And bam. You finished the noodles. Are you proud of yourself? Do you want a hug? Fuck off, we’re not done yet ho we still got a WORLD of shit to finish before you can eat this mystical creation based off of Miyazaki’s food porn masterpiece.

Procedure for Soup-

  • In a medium sized pot, add the stock, dashi, and soy sauce. Bring it to a boil over high heat.
  • Remove from heat and stir in the miso. If you want to add more miso or something, fuckin go for it, it’s your life.
  • Add the bean sprouts in now so they warm up a little. Pour the soup into the bowl of noodles and stir it around so the bean sprouts and noodles are all intertwined.

Oh hot damn. You finished dat soup. Wow. how cool are you? Not that cool yet, because you still need to do the last few toppings you lil shitbaby.

Procedure for toppings-

  • Pour enough water to cover an egg into a small pot and bring to a boil. Once boiling, place the egg in gently and let it stay there for like 10 minutes.
  • Once the egg’s cooked for about 10 minutes, take that shit out and place it in a small bowl of ice water so it can cool down.
  • Once it’s cooled, remove the shell and cut it in half vertically. Place one of the halves on top of the ramen and eat the other one yourself with a sprinkle of salt because you deserve it. Love yourself a little.
  • Get some thick cut ham slices, like the thickest you can find, get a piece and cut it in half. Drizzle a frying pan with olive oil and let it heat up before placing the ham slices on there. 
  • Cook until heated up but not browned and place atop the noodles.
  • Thinly dice half the chive stock and place it atop the noodles as well.

~

HOLY SHIT YOU JUST MADE YOURSELF SOME MIYAZAKI NOODLES
ARE YOU PROUD? YOU SHOULD BE. YOU BASICALLY MADE ART.

No seriously, put that shit in MOMA and it will probably sell a lot quicker than like, fuckin, idk, cubism or whatever. Because Ramen always tastes better than oil paint, trust me.

Alright nerds, that’s Ponyo’s Ramen for you, enjoy eating literally 10 bowls of it while crying over fucking fish people you sad piece of trash.

LOVE YOU, BYE

"you lil shitbaby"

reblogged 4 hours ago @ 21 Apr 2014 with 15,239 notes via/source
xfoodporn xreference xuseful xlong post

thinkthatthetimehascome:

ianoshea:

jocundasykes:

welcome-foolishmortals:

I HAVEN’T LAUGHED THIS HARD IN THREE YEARS I AM HAVING AN ASTHMA ATTCK

ICH WEINE

The one about the dudes penis being stuck is like a poem

THESE TOOK ME LIKE TEN MINUTES TO GET THROUGH I WAS CRYING AT EACH ONE

jesus chalupa

reblogged 4 hours ago @ 21 Apr 2014 with 163,303 notes via/source

mikulios:

have you ever been following someone for a while but they’ve changed their url, icon, and theme so many times that you literally have no idea who they are anymore but you’ve been in mutual follow with them so long that it’s unacceptable to ask

reblogged 4 hours ago @ 21 Apr 2014 with 37,212 notes via/source

captainarlert:

stygiandawn:

SO THAT’S THE CONTEXT FOR THE PIZZA GIF

IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW

Does it tho?

reblogged 4 hours ago @ 21 Apr 2014 with 132,377 notes via/source
xblood
ineffable-hufflepuff:

misandryevans:

babymarkers:

the-chocolate-chip-pancake:

thatsnotwatyourmomsaid:

none pizza with left beef

It should be a rule of Tumblr to always reblog none pizza with left beef

ive missed you

#THIS IS MY FAVORITE FUCKING THING JUST THE BEEF#YOU COULD TELL THE POOR CHEF WAS JUST FUCKING#DISGUSTED#WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS#WHAT THE F U C K IS THIS#WHO THE FUCK ORDERS A#A /NONE/ PIZZA?? JUST BEEF ON THE LEFT???#FUCK IT#F U CK IT#JUST COOK THE FUCKING DOUGH#HERE LET ME THROW THIS FUCKING HANDFUL OF OBLONG BEEF CHUNKS AT YOUR NONE FUCKING PIZZA#FUCK YOU#FUCK YOU AND ALL YOU STAND FOR#LEFT FUCKING BEEF (via askscientistcarlos)

I love None Pizza with Left Beef.
reblogged 5 hours ago @ 21 Apr 2014 with 468,500 notes via/source

aicosu:

cosplayresources:

This is on of my absolute favorite tutorials, and I can’t believe I haven’t posted this yet… I’ve used this method hundreds of times (okay, maybe 3-4), but it works flawlessly every time.

This method creates beautiful armor pieces on the cheap, but they still look amazing. This is one of those cosplay-life-changers!

Check out the full tutorial here

THIS IS THE TUTORIAL THAT TAUGHT ME HOW TO MAKE CRAFT FOAM ARMOR.

reblogged 5 hours ago @ 21 Apr 2014 with 41,329 notes via/source
highnicetomeetyou:

Omfg
reblogged 5 hours ago @ 21 Apr 2014 with 30,118 notes via/source
posted 7 hours ago @ 21 Apr 2014 with 1 note
xim just going to go downstairs for a while

assemble-the-assbutts:

tholki:

jayjsupremacy:

xvilex:

southern-feminism:

"If a woman has [the right to abortion], why shouldn’t a man be free to use his superior strength to force himself on a woman? At least the rapist’s pursuit of sexual freedom doesn’t result in anyone’s death."

-Something Maine lawmaker Lawrence Lockman actually said

image

kill them

kill them

i think my brain melted from all this stupidity

some people are just so stupid they’re dangerous

reblogged 7 hours ago @ 21 Apr 2014 with 112,121 notes via/source

haha wow

i spent a whole hour working on this playlist and i fucking lost EVERYTHING.

posted 7 hours ago @ 21 Apr 2014
xFUCK THIS SHIT
goddess-of-gallifrey:

bakaforsenpai:

mysteryprof:

girlatsunrise:

sebuttstian:

merksmirs:

paulyoptosaurus:

accio-avengers:

wollipyos:

asexuals:

What are those?

Those are Doritos.

seriously though, what the fuck are those?!

doritos. its an old bag design i know. 

seriOUSLY GUYS THOUGH WHAT THE FUCKARE THOSE THINGS THEY’RE FREAKING ME THE FUCK OUT PLEASETELL ME THEYRE NOT ACTUALLY REAL

“nacho cheese” flavoured doritos brand corn chips

i reblog this post on sight

LET ME BE THE ONE TO RUIN THE PURPOSELY STUBBORN CHAIN OF REBLOGS AND EDUCATE THOSE WHO ACTUALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT THESE ARE. 
These are Giant Isopods, and yes they do exist; 100% r-e-a-l.
Where do these creatures lurk you may ask? They live waaaaay down in the depths of the ocean somewhere between 550-7,000ft. deep. You’ll probably never have the chance to see one of these crawling fossils… ;A;
Now, you think going a few hours without food is bad? Even when you do actually have food in your house, but it doesn’t appeal to you?  WELL THESE CRITTERS RIGHT HERE CAN GO FOUR YEARS WITHOUT ANY FOOD. WHEN THEY DO FIND FOOD THEY GORGE THEMSELVES TO IMMOBILITY.
I should also mention that these things are recorded as being around since before the continents even split. 
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE GIANT ISOPOD! 

looks like doritos to me

Oh man… they better not eat all the doritos.

goddess-of-gallifrey:

bakaforsenpai:

mysteryprof:

girlatsunrise:

sebuttstian:

merksmirs:

paulyoptosaurus:

accio-avengers:

wollipyos:

asexuals:

What are those?

Those are Doritos.

seriously though, what the fuck are those?!

doritos. its an old bag design i know. 

seriOUSLY GUYS THOUGH WHAT THE FUCKARE THOSE THINGS THEY’RE FREAKING ME THE FUCK OUT PLEASETELL ME THEYRE NOT ACTUALLY REAL

“nacho cheese” flavoured doritos brand corn chips

i reblog this post on sight

LET ME BE THE ONE TO RUIN THE PURPOSELY STUBBORN CHAIN OF REBLOGS AND EDUCATE THOSE WHO ACTUALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT THESE ARE. 

These are Giant Isopods, and yes they do exist; 100% r-e-a-l.

Where do these creatures lurk you may ask? They live waaaaay down in the depths of the ocean somewhere between 550-7,000ft. deep. You’ll probably never have the chance to see one of these crawling fossils… ;A;

Now, you think going a few hours without food is bad? Even when you do actually have food in your house, but it doesn’t appeal to you?  WELL THESE CRITTERS RIGHT HERE CAN GO FOUR YEARS WITHOUT ANY FOOD. WHEN THEY DO FIND FOOD THEY GORGE THEMSELVES TO IMMOBILITY.

I should also mention that these things are recorded as being around since before the continents even split. 

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE GIANT ISOPOD! 

looks like doritos to me

Oh man… they better not eat all the doritos.

reblogged 7 hours ago @ 21 Apr 2014 with 389,874 notes via/source
xi want to pet one

gingeredjess:

I AM A GODDAMN DELIGHT GUYS

reblogged 7 hours ago @ 21 Apr 2014 with 150,618 notes via/source

jerkidiot:

I’m doing an easter egg hunt for my cousins and someone is gettin a meatball

reblogged 7 hours ago @ 21 Apr 2014 with 55,543 notes via/source